Unintelligible

So I've had this problem reading scripture lately. Like, I'm not doing it. It's bad - I know I'm supposed to, I have this sort of odd desire to, and yet I don't. As Paul says "I don't do the things I know I should do, and I do the things I know I shouldn't" (or something like that).

So I decided today to start working through a book. I thought about it, said "how about a gospel," and naturally picked John first, since it's kind of my favorite picture of Jesus.

And then I started reading. "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the word was God. He was with God in the beginning." It's beautiful, it's word-painting, it's totally unintelligible. I have no idea what this means.

And this is why I have such a hard time getting into scripture - I feel like I should understand it as soon as I read it. I mean, I have vague inklings as to what this means, but it has this sort of ethereal quality to it that leaves my mind spinning around itself and getting dizzy. Then I kept reading. I'm thinking that I'm gonna have to read a long section, and then take it one segment at a time to have any hope of understanding any of it at all.

I guess God's got a lot of work to do in me yet ...