Uncertainty

So the rumers you've heard are true - I did run our Subaru Legacy off the road this past sunday. Liz and I were unhurt, save for a sore back (me) and whiplash (Liz). Our poor car is totaled. Here's what happened.

We're driving along on 490 heading home, very slowly (since it was crappy weather out) when I hit a small patch of black ice just over a bridge. I fishtailed and then we ploughed right into the guard rail, hitting it twice: first with the left nose of the car, then with the back left, implanting the guard rail into the back of our car. We barely missed a flock of cars and one very large truck that nearly hit us.

The guardrail remains unscratched.

Kudos to Kevin, the very kind Biaggi's cook that stopped to help us when we crashed. He drove us to a gas station to call my dad and then to our apartment on his way home. I learned something about helping others on Sunday from Kevin; it just takes stopping your own life a little to make someone else feel safer.

Meanwhile, the car is totaled and there's no real chance of getting it back, though we will have to replace it. The engine took the brunt of the damage, but there are so many issues with the sides of the car that it's just not worth rebuilding. But what we've been facing the past two days has been hard: uncertainty. Worry.

Fear.

I can't tell you how much this threw me for a loop. We were almost home, and then it happened. Totally out of the blue, it was over in a few seconds. I thank God for sparing our lives and even for sparing our bodies any real harm. But the question remains - now what?

We spent two days debating that question, being worried, being afraid of the unknown. We didn't know what to do. I kept telling myself that everything would be ok, that we'd work it out. But it's tough to make yourself believe that when everything feels so hopeless.

It's amazing the tricks the enemy plays with your mind. I definitely had times when I believed that everything would be ok, but there were also definitely times when I totally broke down and began worrying about what would come next. This worries me ... which is sorta ironic, cause I don't want to be worrying at ALL. Biblically you're not supposed to worry.

I guess the key is that if you worry about something, just keep reminding yourself that it's going to work out. It may not work out how you want it to, but it WILL work out. And sometimes it works out better than you could've hoped.

See, we're getting a new car, and the choices are way cool: Hyundai Santa Fe, Pontiac Vibe, and possibly others that we haven't found yet. But I can't wait to see how it pans out - God is good!!