EEDs

The second law of thermodynamics states that any system left to itself will naturally progress towards entropy. Entropy is a fancy word for disorder or chaos.

What the second law doesn't state is that a person can enhance entropic effects quite easily, by acquiring an EED, or Entropic Enhancement Device. The most common models of these devices are organic in nature, carbon-based, quadrapedal, and have names like "spot", "fluffy", or sometimes, "Wisdom." Most commonly, they are referred to as "dogs."

A dog is, "any object that is perpetually on the wrong side of a door." While fairly easily acquired, no one has, as of yet, determined the easiest proceedure to allow them to reach their full potential as EEDs. I believe I may be of some service to the scientific community in this matter.

Allow the EED full access to your living room, backyard, or if possible, both. Leave as many soft items around as you can; paper towels, socks, and powered computer cables generally work to this effect. Merely allow your EED 1-2 hours in the contained space, and you will witness an increased rate of entropy.

Other EEDs are now in testing. Small children, anarchists, and the Christian Coalition are among the latest subjects under study. Among failed experiments include ants, trees, and schools of fish, for all being too organized. Our most promising study is the Christian Coalition, for its ability to absorb massive amounts of energy and still produce entropic results.