February 15, 2005

To All the Lonely People

I used to put up this really snotty away message on Valantines day: "Happy single's awareness day". Man, I was a snot. But seriously, I used to hate this "holiday". It had something to do with being desperately single and hating it, and then being reminded, very painfully, that I wasn't likely to change that situation soon.

I've never been much of a people person, so that I hated this holiday was rather odd. I mean, honestly, if you're not a people-person, and yet you feel bad about a holiday simply because society says "you shouldn't be single," and you say "I know, I'm trying!" you've obviously got issues. I tried so hard for a year and a half to get even one date, to no avail. V-day that year (and the next, actually) sucked royally.

But then I started actually listening to what God was telling me. And it occurred to me that maybe I was supposed to be single then; maybe I was just supposed to focus on Him, on His love for me, on my devotion to Him. When I had this realization (in the spring), suddenly the world began to change in my mind - the sun came out more often, the grass was a little more brilliant green, the sky just a little bluer.

I started thinking about who I am, how I think and behave, the sort of guy that I am. Last week, my wife summed it up well when she said "I think you're a one-on-one kind of guy." She's right - I'm best off not alone, not in a crowd, but talking one-on-one with one or two good friends. In that sort of world, my lonliness made sense, but still it bothered me. Until I realized - it's ok to just have friends too, it's ok to just BE and to make the most of the present, because a) the future hasn't happened yet and there's only so much you can do to make it change, and b) because the past is only part of who you are, you have no control over it, and it's already happened - why worry about it?

And so I became much happier with my situation in life. I think I finally became a guy people wanted to be around because I stopped sulking all the time. And wouldn't ya know it, God introduced me to Liz about three months later. Funny how it all works out in the end.

And so I guess what I'm saying is that I've been on both sides of the fence. I'd not give up my wife for anything, but if you're single, it's where you're supposed to be right now. God's got a plan, so don't worry about it! If you like being single, don't try to conform just because people say you should! You can put more energy into the cool things in life you wouldn't have time for if you were dating or married. If you'd like to be dating, chill out - she'll (or he'll) come along at the right time.

I guess on this day of hearts and candy and the like, just remember - God's crazy in love with you: don't trade that for anything.

This is for all the lonely people
Thinkin' that life has passed them by
Don't give up until you drink from the silver cup
She'll never take you down or never give you up
You'll never know until you try

Cause I'm on my way back home ...

1 comment:

Dude said...

Used to Hate Valentines day huh?
Well you should read my entry for that day...

it was a complete crap-aster...

nice thoughts...

i'de like to live in your mind for a while...