April 7, 2005

Water over Wine

Sometimes I feel the fear of uncertainty stinging clear
And I can't help but ask myself how much I let the fear
Take the wheel and steer

It's driven me before, it seems to have a vague
haunting mass appeal ...

Would you choose water over wine?


A set of lyrics that's been sitting in my head today as I reflect on ... well, life in general, I suppose. Would I choose water over wine? Depends on what is what, I guess. Would I choose the cool, soothing, water of life over the intoxicating, limited wine of this world? Would I choose the watered-down reality of the world over the delicious wine created by Christ at the wedding banquet? However you read the metaphor, the question is the same - this world or the kingdom of heaven? Choose, but choose wisely.

I wonder what I've chosen.

I mean, on the surface it's so easy to choose the kingdom of heaven, at least, in today's sugar-coated Christianity. I keep thinking about this - I want so badly to say that I've chosen the kingdom of heaven, because I want to go to heaven, even if it means spending eternity on a cloud playing a harp (it's better than the other descriptions of hell I've heard).

The part that I always forget is that the powers of this world are always going to be at work on me because of that choice. Because I've chosen to side with Christ, I've chosen to be an enemy, a
Deviant (thanks Laura) of this world. And that's really hard. I want it to be easy, all fun-and-games, not a war.
And so I find myself falling into sin. It's certainly easier, in this world. Why deviate from the norm when you could be comfortable? I could do all sorts of things to make myself - only myself - more comfortable in this world. And it's so easy!
Except when somebody reminds me that there's more at stake than myself. There's more to the picture than me - there's a whole world out there that's in the same boat. Even more, there's the kingdom of heaven, that has, for some reason, chosen me to be a soldier in its army. God has for some reason, chosen us as a church to be His friends and companions and children and yes, soldiers. It's a war I don't understand, and I feel like I've never had a fighting chance.
But it's there. And the kingdom of heaven is forcibly advancing. And I want to be a part, no matter what the cost. I only pray that I have the strength, by my own or by God's.

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